Saturday I wrestled with Terry Brands and landed wrong on my left hand, trying to post it on the mat. It's really swollen today.
Jenny is reading a book called "Women Who Love Too Much." It says a warning sign is when your lover has different fundamental beliefs and values. I asked Jenny if she thought that was true of me. She said yes, she was concerned that I didn't care enough about other people.
I said, "I agree. So see? We do share the same fundamental beliefs."
Bertrand Russell said something to the effect that the secret to happiness is caring less and less about yourself over time, and more and more about others, until basically that's all you care about. I think that's a pretty good philosophy, and I hope to be able to embrace that at some point in my life. But for right now I've got some dreams of my own to achieve, and I'm willing to let evil in the world go unchecked in order to achieve them. And my conscience is not seriously bothered by that.
I made a decent showing at Nationals, although I didn't place. I won my first match, 13-5 against Pat Higa from Cal State-Bakersfield. Then I lost two in a row: to Chertow, 18-2, and to Calabrese, 9-6. Both of them placed.
I could tell that Higa was good in collegiate style, but I beat him primarily on crotch-lifts and turns, and I felt like he tired a bit as the match went on.
I scored the first takedown on Chertow, then got caught in some stupid stuff. He is excellent on turns, including from the feet. He probably out-scored me on takedowns 4-2 (yes, I scored another takedown), but he out-scored me on back-points 14-0. Last year I would not have been able to take him down at all. So there is a bright side, but, man, out-scored 14-0 on turns is a big problem that I need to solve.
I was beating Calabrese 3-2 with just over a minute to go. I was wrestling well with him--a big change from the Florida tournament a few months ago. But in the last minute I got thrown and rolled for 3+2, which put me down 7-3. I was able to scramble, but ended up losing 9-6. I didn't lose trying to stall it out for the win, and I didn't lose trying to be overly aggressive either. He just caught me with a good throw.
I just need one more year.
I'm looking forward to summer. My classes will be over the first week of May. Then wrestling camps start in late June. I may try to go to the World Team training camp in Colorado Springs for a week or two in August. It depends on who else from Iowa is going, and whether I can get myself invited as a training partner. I need to make a push if I'm going to place next year. I can't take my foot off the gas.
Ironically, I'm starting to think about life after wrestling. I'm thinking about New York again. I'm thinking about somewhere else, something else, maybe an MBA or some other masters degree. My heart is still into wrestling, but, you know, it's that 3-week pause at the end of the season where you take a breath and look at the big picture.
Can I spend three more years here? Yes, if that's what it takes. In the long run, three years is nothing. I haven't yet done what I came here to do.
So here are my stats for my second season at Iowa, 1988-89:
19 wins, 12 losses.
Highlights: won 3 tournaments, placed at several others. Beat a few good wrestlers, had close matches with some great wrestlers.
I'm better than I was a year ago, and hopefully not nearly as good as I will be a year from now.